remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
