It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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