My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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