fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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