My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
