Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Randomize
