i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
