sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
