I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
