mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
