I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
