Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God

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  (313): My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God http://tfl.nu/eo8x
  Replies (5) Good night (1092) Bad night (1391)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity

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  (619): I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity http://tfl.nu/ljia
  Replies (5) Good night (1278) Bad night (575)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".

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  (402): I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis". http://tfl.nu/dn08
  Replies (17) Good night (772) Bad night (6579)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.

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  (630): just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol. http://tfl.nu/7wr8
  Replies (8) Good night (708) Bad night (3611)
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  (315): View more from New York

  The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.

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  (315): The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style. http://tfl.nu/brn7
  Replies (15) Good night (5208) Bad night (1241)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.

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  (401): Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight. http://tfl.nu/8i8j
  Replies (12) Good night (877) Bad night (3557)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.

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  (856): Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever. http://tfl.nu/q010
  Replies (49) Good night (6153) Bad night (4728)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.

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  (619): Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen. http://tfl.nu/rhei
  Replies (27) Good night (1570) Bad night (6514)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.

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  (518): HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR. http://tfl.nu/dsxu
  Replies (12) Good night (2015) Bad night (836)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud

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  (216): Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud http://tfl.nu/kyzh
  Replies (3) Good night (1443) Bad night (459)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first

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  (307): Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first http://tfl.nu/80vm
  Replies (3) Good night (645) Bad night (354)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?

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  (941): Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"? http://tfl.nu/0496
  Replies (7) Good night (657) Bad night (323)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"

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  (858): I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well" http://tfl.nu/9o99
  Replies (1) Good night (656) Bad night (300)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.

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  (650): And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time. http://tfl.nu/nm1x
  Replies (4) Good night (511) Bad night (303)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated

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  (952): I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated http://tfl.nu/v9oe
  Replies (1) Good night (311) Bad night (809)

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