Texts From Last Night

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  (818): View more from California

  I regularly think about how cool your nickname is

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  (818): I regularly think about how cool your nickname is http://tfl.nu/glb5
  Replies (3) Good night (2085) Bad night (1176)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife

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  (812): If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife http://tfl.nu/4wdu
  Replies (2) Good night (686) Bad night (857)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!

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  (815): I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico! http://tfl.nu/4kc0
  Replies (13) Good night (3672) Bad night (925)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.

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  (404): I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do. http://tfl.nu/0i65
  Replies (13) Good night (6670) Bad night (1062)
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  (707): View more from California

  Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....

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  (707): Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me..... http://tfl.nu/ajao
  Replies (11) Good night (3340) Bad night (1216)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.

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  (919): Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick. http://tfl.nu/djhd
  Replies (23) Good night (7320) Bad night (992)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world

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  (503): I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world http://tfl.nu/o1nx
  Replies (2) Good night (925) Bad night (3097)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat

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  (440): the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat http://tfl.nu/81cx
  Replies (11) Good night (3035) Bad night (1368)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin

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  (203): its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin http://tfl.nu/pt6w
  Replies (7) Good night (2719) Bad night (835)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.

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  (724): Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips. http://tfl.nu/myh4
  Replies (5) Good night (2686) Bad night (859)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.

  (1-706): View more from Georgia

  Where the hell are you

  (706): View more from Georgia

  He's winning.

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  (706): I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon. (1-706): Where the hell are you (706): He's winning. http://tfl.nu/bx2u
  Replies (23) Good night (5697) Bad night (1127)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?

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  (214): Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me? http://tfl.nu/3sua
  Replies (19) Good night (1047) Bad night (2222)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.

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  (573): So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs. http://tfl.nu/477y
  Replies (12) Good night (2538) Bad night (570)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.

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  (989): Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady. http://tfl.nu/qu2m
  Replies (48) Good night (1383) Bad night (2973)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like

  (972): View more from Texas

  Why do you text me weird shit like this?

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  (214): True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like (972): Why do you text me weird shit like this? http://tfl.nu/hcc5
  Replies (5) Good night (1081) Bad night (371)

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