Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.