Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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