Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
