At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Sober January is a disaster.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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