dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
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honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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