I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
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Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
We left an ass print on the piano.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
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