Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
