"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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