so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize
