i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Randomize
