Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Watching her eat just hurts me
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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