Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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