At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
