after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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