when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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