Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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