Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
