so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
