Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
40s are totally the cure
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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