I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I enjoy the company of your penis
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
