nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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