Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Randomize