ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
