She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
