I skipped work to stalk him.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
