i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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