That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize