why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
There r osticjed everywhere
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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