I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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