I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize