I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
