I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
