I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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