Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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