My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
