im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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