i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
