WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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