Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
