is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
