Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize