I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Blood and glitter go together right?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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