my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
