A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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