I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
