Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
