I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize