so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
