btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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