Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
