john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Are we still banned from the library?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
